( private;;unhackable; )

Two things: what's the status of the human matchstick?
What's the deal with the usual suspects around here?

So I can't run. I can hide though. Especially from that nurse at the hospital.

[ooc; This whole post is backdated to earlier today.)

And then there was one blind man. Circumstances beyond my means or understanding have deprived a sound, logical medical investigation. Or as I like to say--got the easy way out. Heartwarming, wonderful in that way that Hallmark hopes to mimic every time, isn't it?

There's work still to be done. I haven't seen Dr. Deus Ex Machina around here to pick up his shift everywhere else.

Say Dr. Jimmy, (I wasn't aware that was your official moniker) I can't help but notice it looks like you're trying to get an Eden of your own. The least she could do is pick up an accent. I guess that's what the button nose is for. Right?

( filtered to the clinic; )

If you're dumb enough to take candy from strangers, take as much as you like.

No, I don't like you. No, I don't love Wilson. Yes, I am a robot. No, I'm not English. Yes, I think that Chase has pretty hair. No, it isn't that pretty. No, I don't like you. No, I'm not sorry. The answer is Cuddy.

Now that that is out of the way you shouldn't have anything to say.

[ooc; Oookay guys, 4th wallin. Anything past season 3 is gonna fade away from memory at the end of the curse. UNF.]

The line starts here for rabies shots. Seriously. And while you're at it, pick up some Advantage on your way home. You'll thank me. A young boy who shall remain nameless can testify to the magical healing powers of precaution.

Feeling bad? Could be worse. You could have hirsutism or hypertrichosis. Talk about a hairy situation. Hormones and DNA are to blame, it depends on the case. Imagine having to lint roll yourself everyday. Really it would be easy though especially if you make a cool million off of the Ringling Brothers.

I've covered hairy and bitches to some degree. But not as much as I should. Paging Dr. Lisa Cuddy. I have a feeling she skipped out. This calls for pizza with everything and beer.

Ice cream? Please, you've got to be kidding me. I don't like ice cream.

I love it.

Voice;

I'm going to simplify my confusion into one, and only one, question. The answer, the hard part, is up to you. Be concise.  The amount of focus it takes to write down my own symptoms on a napkin with a pen is tremendous.

And I don't feel much. Cool. Drugs, kids. They're something.

Back to the question: What the hell is going on?

An over exposure to steam, like say a sauna or for most recent event relevance a steam engine, will reduce sperm count for one to five weeks. Contribute that to the no-brainer lung deficiencies. The more you know.

I'm curious to know what an ipod looked like with that technological slant. A gramophone the size of a brick?

Filtered to Chase::Unhackable;
You can borrow this. Don't get too attached. It's festive and might save you explaining time. Unless you want a crutchpurse.
end;

Private to Eden::Unhackable;
Your work space is a mess.
end;

[ooc; Going to work, lovelies. I'll be back laters with tags and such.]

My fall-guy.
My dingo.
My care bear.
My pain in the ass.
My leprechaun.
My lunch.
My clinic, my rules.

...My God is this getting old.

[ooc; bbl! I'll pick up backdated tags!]

One order of business:

Refresher, because I think that a few of us need it. This is your boss. This is not your boss. This is The Boss. It isn't that hard. Think on this carefully. Alternatives can be arranged. If you're having a difficult time processing this information.

The staff shrunk. Nice. Now I don't have to deal with downsizing. Though someone has to pick up the humiliation slack. I think that rather than having a new hire, the task could be shared equally.

I'll talk to you. If I have to. No physical contact. You could be contagious. Vaccinations aren't mandatory. Sadly Speed Sticks aren't either.

No, it isn't Lupus. No, I don't care what you think. No, I don't have an accent.

[ooc; Hit him. Hard.]

[voice;]

[A song plays, at first it is the only sound. It's irritating. After the first chorus, it lowers so that House can talk over it easily.]

Catscratch Fever is easier to say than Cytauxzoonisis Felis--try saying that three times fast. It's actually caused by ticks not cats. The symptoms aligned with our current cast of disease thanks to our itchy friends. Back tracking showed the patient became Whiskers the Wonder Kitty. That changes everything. What took so long is that our buddy Billy isn't a cat anymore, I'm not, nor will I ever be, a vet. The results come out in the wash. Why? Because I'm just that good.

The patient be treated with Dr. Frontline Plus after the transfusion. I suggest to his roommates that when he's done you get him vaxinated.Maybe think about getting him fixed. You can never be too careful.

One more point for me.
[end;]

[ooc; Heeey sorry for slow tags and a few dropped ones. My birthday was Wednesday, the party is still kinda rollin'. Thanks for your understanding.]

The counseling love-in and other shoulder to cry on services is provided by the hospital only. Ask for Dr. Sahl. No more questions or gab sessions about the curse. If you're oh so compelled, do it on your own time off of the clock over whatever fruity cocktail you have your friend order because you don't want to look like a weenie.

Moving right a long.

Sicko roll call. Holla atcha boy. In the absence of Foreman that'd be me. I want a head count and full tally. Complaints will be disregarded or given to Chase, sob stories go to Cameron and awkward sexual side effects to treatment will go to Returner.

Staff--God, I hate that word--besides coming up with a team name we've got a new case. He's too interesting for the hospital. (Two dings in one post, but who is counting.) 

Wilson, the masses are concerned. I had no idea I was your spoke's person. I would have made preparations.

[ooc; New case. Oh boy...]

Puberty isn't meant to be a yo-yo. At all. If only there was a way to monitor the long term impact of a back and forth age reversal curses. There are more important matters to project for everyone to see.

Why don't we set some clinic ground rules in the face of so many in this cozy work space. Where we work. Other activities have happened. Don't think I don't know.

Now that that is out of the way. What are we dealing with. The diagnostics are falling into a pattern.

I thought that the circus curse was over. I still see dancing bears, caged monkeys and gun tricks. Oh, and more than a few elephants in the room. I think my favorite show is Shut up. Death defying, few are capable of mastering it.

Doppelganger Count: 3
Wilson Double: 1-Neilson
Chase Double: 2--Ishiah (peri), ????
Cameron Double: 0
House Double: 0

I have a headache. So far it doesn't have a name or a double. The day is still young. There could always be a surprise illness of fictional origin that can be cured with magic water. At least that's the old reliable standard. Yes, that still bothers me. No, we don't need to talk about it.

There's a shortage of strip joints. Why?

[ooc; heading to work shortly. I will tag when I get back.]

If you still have the Black Ick, quit your belly aching and make a pathetic distress call. There's a happy ending. There's no "i" in team. With our powers combined we summoned Captain Planet. The day is saved. Is this a victory? I'm going to say no. Why? This wasn't a solution. Abstract problem solving, that's for sure. I'm not happy with it. I'm sure that's not going to stop everyone else involved from brushing their shoulders off. "Good hustle" comments and ass tapping.

For future curses, I suggest that Neilson have a bell or ribbon or something. Or you can, Wilson. That seems more your style.

Pizza is for breakfast, lunch and dinner. This is living.

Plagues 101:

Be Proactive: Get yourself a prescription. I suggest Aminoglyocides, it's good for what ails you. Up to 2g a day continually for ten days. Couple that with Chloramphenicol 50mg a day, it can be taken orally. Don't be an idiot and stop taking medication when the symptoms have gone away. Recession doesn't mean termination.
Be smart: If you're stupid enough to go tripping off into public with no kind of plan or protection, you're on your way to a posthumous Darwin Award.
Be a Loner: A sure fire way to stay in good health if the Black Ick is spread by human contact? Avoid humans.
Be Mindful: That this is the City. Who the hell knows if this is a curse. And if it is? We get worked up for nothing.

Also? Stop making up fictional diseases.  The pus rainbow stops at brown. If it were brown it would be an infection based in the liver. I don't know what it is. And I have the distinct feeling that it's been put out there to annoy me.

Despite the fact this is my sixty-ninth entry, there's a lack of NC-17 material. I'll work on that. Don't you worry.

I've been preoccupied by the latest Twin Peaks involvement. Wilson, doctor, man, mouse and pushover, has a pint-size, adolescent doppelganger. I used to think that the whole concept of doubles was for the most part reserved for prime-time science fiction like Star Trek or to a lesser degree of entertainment merit, daytime soap operas. Oh yeah, and City curses. All of which we can chalk up to being fabrications. In this case, Mini Wi looks like he's here to stay.

My Back to the Future know how are only as limited as the material. With contact at a minimal and with him decidedly not Wilson, I suppose that the best form of action is to treat him like every other young person I've been acquainted with.

Mini Wilson isn't even the worst of it. Check this out. Yes, I can read. And I do. See. Blond. What? Who thought this was okay? I think that the deities need to go back to writing 101. Or someone does.  Cameron, I'd check twice if I were you. Ask him about wombats. I'd sooner hit him than speak to him if it was the real Chase. So far no hitting or speaking.

Eden, do you have any more surprise job applicants for me? The latest isn't bad. She's not that good, but she'll do.

All of this and more reminds me, I need to refill my prescription. I'll be in my office after that. Forever. Who knows when Cuddy will drop in as-- Hell if I know. A warrior princess?

I don't think I've laughed this hard at society this much before in a long time. Great job, everybody. Wilson. Cameron. Everybody take a bow. You deserve it.

Expected ration of asshole aside, let me pose a philosophical question to those who like to verbally wrestle anyway. Do you know anymore now than you did back then?